I’ve become a nerd again, scouring websites for news on the greatest company in the world, Apple, as well as its competitors, specifically Google. Developers and open source enthusiasts, more accurately known as nerd virgins, continue to bemoan Apple’s “draconian” policies while Google continues to show any regard toward the concerns of its users; this has led me to what is admittedly an obvious revelation: Apple is the people’s company.
Consider the primary customer of each company: advertisers are Google’s and consumers are Apple’s. Most of Google’s services are free, but that’s not because Google consists of altruistic angels as the nerd virgin would claim, but because Google wants to shove as many ads in your face as possible as well as gather more of its users’ information so it can gain an even greater competitive advantage in selling ads. Who do you think has more motivation to cater to the average person: the one who makes most of its money directly from consumers or the one who makes most of its money from businesses, telemarketers, pornographers, and fraudsters trying to sell their snake oil?
The clearest contrast between Apple’s focus on the consumer and Google’s focus on everybody but the consumer can be found in their app stores. Developers and nerd virgins passionately hate Apple because the company forces them through a “draconian”–the word nerd virgins use most often when describing Apple–screening process before customers can even install their applications. It is definitely a hassle for developers–and even the most devout Apple apologist will admit that the process should be more streamlined and consistent–but Apple’s so-called madness is not without motive: when consumers browse the App Store for new apps, they need not worry about viruses, trojans, and other malware that would be even more dangerous on a phone than on a computer. The same security that is taken for granted on the Apple platform cannot be found in the Android Market as recently proven by an Android app that stole confidential bank information from its users. The “openness” that Google gives developers allows the more pernicious ones to take advantage of the trust many phone owners have in seemingly legitimate marketplaces. To use an Android phone requires constant vigilance; it is suicide for the consumer to assume even the most insignificant Facebook app isn’t malicious. Such paranoia might appeal to the typical assdroid who is already distrustful of everybody but Google and Richard Stallman, but the average person finds no joy in it; they don’t have the time for such hassle. That’s why people prefer the convenience and security of stores to flea markets; even those who enjoy the flea market experience would probably not purchase all their necessities from a band of unregulated merchants.
“Ha!” bleats the nerd virgin. “More and more shitty phones are being released with Android as their OS! Soon, there will be more Android phones than iPhones, which proves it’s the superior product!” If numbers are all that matter, then I agree that Google’s product is superior. Likewise, dog shit is superior to gold because it exists in greater abundance than gold. That’s why these same nerd virgins argue that Apple should release a netbook. They could sell many more netbooks than they ever could sell of the more expensive MacBooks. Since more netbooks would be sold, that would also prove that the netbook was a superior product to the MacBook Pro, according to the assdroids. Unfortunately for the self-proclaimed super geniuses, reality is not as simple; quantity is not all that matters. Consider this: Apple only dominates one industry: the music player industry. More BlackBerries are sold than iPhones and many more PCs are sold than Macs. Yet, every other company, even Microsoft, shamelessly imitates Apple; Research In Motion even released a BlackBerry without the typical keyboard found on every other BlackBerry! There will inevitably be more Android phones among the populace than iPhones, but most of their owners will neither know nor care that their phones run Google’s OS; they’ll be as much of a commodity as any other free phone given with a two-year contract. Everybody who owns the iPhone, however, knows they own the fucking iPhone because they made the explicit choice for the iPhone. “Fool!” bleats the nerd virgin again. “When Android has more marketshare, developers will exodus the App Store and develop exclusively for the Android!” Wrong again, assdroid. Developers who develop for a living don’t follow marketshare; they follow money. That’s why even those developers who despise Apple’s policies develop for Apple’s platform. Unless the Android Market, which has existed as long as the App Store, becomes as profitable as the App Store, it will never become the priority of most developers even if it is “totally open.” Will that happen anytime soon? Have iPhones stopped selling?
Apple designs its products for consumers; Google designs its products for everybody but the consumer. Developers love Android’s permissive environment. Nerd virgins love Android’s complicated mess because it gives them an excuse to waste more time tinkering with things that should just work; to them, technology should be ugly and convoluted and reserved only for an exclusive elite, or “1337,” group of people. Apple, however, does not cater to such a demographic; it caters to people who have better things to do with their time than fuck around with computers. Apple is truly the people’s company.
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