Merciel

My attempt for day 27 of the 2011 April PAD Challenge.

The worst of dreams is falling into pits
and not to wake even after I hit
the bottom. I lie there with broken bones
and cry for help, but nobody will roam
these depths anymore. Though I flail and scream,
I never wake from this recurring dream.

The worst of dreams is suffering her laugh
after I garnered the courage to ask
her out. My every flaw’s reflected off
her eyes, I’d flee to my clock tower if
I could move. Once she said yes only to
break me in front of everyone I knew.

The worst of dreams is failing school again.
The prodigy I once was vanished when
life drafted me to battle demons, so
when finals have arrived, I’m unprepared.
Why bother? Afterward, I vow to try
again next year (if the demons have died).

The worst of dreams is work without an end,
a daily sacrifice without a friend.
Without prestige, it’s just a drudge. The clocks
spin rapidly, but time remains still. Doors
won’t open, but the key is never found.
No window exists from which to jump out.

The worst of dreams is memories replayed.
Old tragedies pour seasoning on stains,
old victories grow stale and lose their taste.
The sweetest ones will always end when light
heralds another forgettable day–
those are the ones that cause me the most pain.

The monsters don’t scare me. They’re make-believe,
but the real demons devour me, leave
me shivering in the basement on knees
in prayer to fall into another dream
where I’m the king of Avalon. My queen
beside me, together eternally.